About

In response to the often less than fortunate news that comes for high school seniors by April 1st, we've created a forum to express everything you would like to say to the schools that obviously don't know a good thing when they see it. Feel free to email your open and anonymous letters, stories, and comments to screwyouharvard@gmail.com. All submissions will be reviewed; nothing explicit or offensive will be posted.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reasons why I didn't want to go to Wash U in the first place:

1. People said "I didn't sneeze" when I told them where I was applying
2. People said "no" in an offended tone when I told them where I was applying
3. Bear mascots are almost as original as lion/tiger mascots
4. You value legacy more than merit (dumb! Just because someone's parent went to your school does not mean that they are more qualified than me, or that they won't fail out after a semester of incessant partying. See that Wash U? I bet those legacies don't even know what "incessant" means!)
5. St. Louis crime rates are so heinous that I probably would have been mugged or murdered by the time I graduated.
6. The most memorable thing about your city is that someone flew away from it.
7. Your landmark is an arch. Mazel Tov! The Romans invented that almost 4,000 years ago. Once again, astounding originality.
8. Your school colors (red and green) indicate clear favoritism of Santa Claus.  I have a Chanukah bush, bitch. 
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)